The RomancingVenus °

Near Death XP

I had the worst kind of headache last night. It was the meanest, most bad-ass physical pain I've experienced in my entire life. I cried again for a number of hours last night while I was talking to Dani over at ym (long story - am in no mood to divulge). I mean I didn't bawl or anything, I just sniffed a lot and blew my nose now and then plus the added stress must've caused some tension too overwhelming for me to take. Yes I know I should know better and I know I should've taken some pain meds but I was in no mood to eat either (NSAIDS are to be taken with food) and besides it was 3am by then ayoko din bangungutin (nightmares translated medically as Acute Pancreatitis).

I lay there in my bed for an hour or so thinking, pondering, musing (which all made my head hurt even more). I put all my pillows below my head (feeling ko lang may IICP ako haha) and although I wasn't vomiting nor was I losing consciousness, I really thought that hindi na ko magigising. Cerebral aneurysm ang drama nito! lol. I swear. I'm not over exaggerating. I really thought that I wouldn't be able to see the light of day anymore. I thought of how people would react to my death and how sad people who are close to me will be. I thought of my future and of Dani and of my friends and family. I couldn't think straight anymore. The pain was killing me even as I thought of demise. But I couldn't die now, I thought, I still had so many things I wanted to do with my life and besides, I had no suicidal tendencies and I can't die because of some stupid headache brought about by some heartache.

Then everything went blank.

By the time I opened my eyes, sunshine was already pouring through the window in the bedroom and the headache was gone. Thank God I'm alive, I said to myself, I'm too young to die. I got up from bed, made coffee and everything was back to normal - another study day for me. (not until I saw Willie making drama about Joey De Leon on TFC, oh but that's another story...)

Labels: random thoughts

romancing perfection at 1:53:00 AM

9 comment(s):

naku parehas pala tayong mag-isip pag sumasakit ang ulo. aneurysm ito! haha.

pero ako hindi ako agad umiinom ng gamot. ayoko kasing maging drug dependent... =)

By KC, at 2:32 AM

@KC: wahaha sabay tayong ngbabasa ng blog ng isa't isa. haha. ako din actually I don't even drink medicine kapag may sipon ako. ayoko lang. pero totoo! akala ko talaga mamamatay ako. lol

By Cory, at 2:58 AM

marckie!anu ba yan...huhu...*hug* na lang kita......grabe naman your stress...kaya mo yan at hindi ka pwede mawala.
*hug*

By Anonymous, at 10:37 AM

i used to have the same symptoms: occipital headaches, plus vomiting, disorientation and blurring of vision. consulted to the ER, possible Dx of migraine headache vs arteriovenous malformation. because my fave hospital's ct is still not working, will delay the exam till eternity. =) natatakot kaya akong malaman yung diagnosis. therefore, i keep on procrastinating my cranial ct sched. hehehe =) i know... its bad. =(

better have it checked cory. better safe than sorry. =) sorry kung natakot kita cory hehehe. not my intention. =(

By ruff nurse-du-jour, at 2:22 AM

@ CORS: di pa ko mamamatay cors. pero cge hug na din tayo. haha miss ko na kayo. *hug*

By Cory, at 12:52 PM

@RUFF: nah, i dont usually have headaches naman nung isang araw lang. i dnt have migraine dat m sure, kain ako ng kain ng chocolates n all those bawal pero nothing happens naman. the headache was just precipitated by stress and the blowing of nose dahil sa pag iyak. haha wag mo ko takutin! saka there was no vomiting, papilledema and blurring of vision. but thanks sa concern! ikaw pa check ka na! dnt delay it. health before anything else... :D

By Cory, at 12:55 PM

that's good magaling na pakiramdam mo. take care of urself always!

By RedLan, at 2:26 AM

@CORY: In that case, consider my list as my first step. But yeah, rereading the entry makes me appreciate life more. Those blessings are overwhelming, I just could not ask for more. But I bet there’ll be more lists to follow.
-I’m thankful to the Creator for all those blessings. Like you I’m also thankful for my parents, for my past significant others, and to the future Ones, my future Dani, and perhaps, thankful also for my future destiny (be it here, or there!). Stay happy too, cory.
-By the way, thanks cory ha. Sure sure, I’ll have my check up sometime na din. And I’ll keep you posted about the results. =) I’m thankful also for my good health as of the moment, and I’m happy to hear that you’re doing well na din. =)

By ruff nurse-du-jour, at 7:56 AM

baka yung paginom mo ng coffee sa umaga ang nakkasama sayo. lolz

By Anonymous, at 2:02 PM