Near Death XP
I had the worst kind of headache last night. It was the meanest, most bad-ass physical pain
I've experienced in my entire life. I cried again for a number of hours last night while I was talking to Dani over at ym (long story - am in no mood to divulge). I mean I didn't bawl or anything, I just sniffed a lot and blew my nose now and then plus the added stress
must've caused some tension too overwhelming for me to take. Yes I know I should know better and I know I should've taken some pain meds but I was in no mood to eat either (NSAIDS
are to be taken with food) and besides it was 3am
by then ayoko din bangungutin (nightmares translated medically as Acute Pancreatitis
I lay there in my bed for an hour or so thinking, pondering, musing
(which all made my head hurt even more). I put all my pillows below my head (feeling ko lang may IICP
ako haha) and although I wasn't vomiting nor was I losing consciousness, I really thought that hindi na ko magigising. Cerebral aneurysm
ang drama nito! lol. I swear. I'm not over exaggerating. I really thought that I wouldn't be able to see the light of day anymore. I thought of how people would react to my death and how sad people who are close to me will be. I thought of my future and of Dani and of my friends and family. I couldn't think straight anymore. The pain was killing me even as I thought of demise
. But I couldn't die now, I thought, I still had so many things I wanted to do with my life and besides, I had no suicidal tendencies and I can't die because of some stupid headache brought about by some heartache.
Then everything went blank.
By the time I opened my eyes, sunshine was already pouring through the window in the bedroom and the headache was gone. Thank God I'm alive
, I said to myself, I'm too young to die. I got up from bed, made coffee and everything was back to normal - another study day for me. (not until I saw Willie making drama about Joey De Leon on TFC, oh but that's another story...)
Labels: random thoughts
Big C for Congrats!
i Love it! Top 3 ang St. Paul University Manila with a 97% passing rate for the June 2007 nursing board exam
! O ha ha say nyo dun? Batch ko yan! Galing ng Notorious 92 man! Pa-add lang na top 1 ang St Paul. University Iloilo tapos top 3 naman ang Manila Campus! Shet! woot wooooot! 2 St Paul Schools in the Top 3 roster. Heavy! Congrats batchmates! RN na! Paulinian nurses rock!
for the list of names of the June 2007 Nursing Board Examination passers.
Confessions of a Pinoy TV Junkie
I must confess. I am in love and that seeing that person is something that I really look forward to in everyday of my oh-so-boring life. When I look up unto his face, the lights seem to dim and the music starts to play and oh, I just fall for him over and over again. I sigh at the sound of his voice and my knees tremble at the sight of his countenance. Andrew
has swept me off my feet and I relish every second of it. Yes, I am in love and it feels so good...
--- (Pause and Rewind) ---
I'm in love with Andrew Amarillo (Ryan Agoncillo of Ysabella
) and Andrew Angeles (Jake Cuenca of Natutulog ba ang Diyos?
). And yes, I am a reformed teleserye junkie
. I used to hate ate Elsa (St. Paul Manila Residence Hall aka dorm head/keeper), for not giving us any chance to watch any show other than Pangako Sa'yo, Sa Piling Mo, Krystala
and the sort at night. In truth, I found it so bakya that I didn't bother to watch TV at all. Buti kung koreanovela pa yun! It's just that when I think of Pinoy telenovelas before, a very very long and dragging plot comes to mind sort of like that of Mara Clara
at ang walang patumanggang pag-aagawan sa diary at locket na umabot ng ilang taon hanggang sa nagpuberty na ko.
Never in my wildest imaginations did I think that I would watch sinseryes religiously as much as I watch them now. Call it baduy, jologs or corny
but I actually couldn't care less. Fact is: they're rather entertaining and the a lot of the plot's changed. They feature lighter gists now, the story line makes more sense and they finish faster sans kidnapping and the grandiosity of exploding cars and people. My love story with teleseryes started when I arrived here in California. I tuned in to TFC
and GMA Pinoy TV
for most of my bum states and that includes watching ABS-CBN's Prime Time Bida. What transpired between me and Maria Flordeluna
was love at first sight. I was immediately hooked and so were my ate and kuya. Kuya would always ask me to wake him up just so he can watch even if he's super tired from work. And my ate - she cried with Jo when the boat carrying Leo exploded. But hey, did Maria Flor really had to die in the end? That was just too sad.Don't get me wrong
. I too watch American shows like Grey's Anatomy, House MD
and they're really great but maganda din naman ang Filipino made. Plus you get to relate with most of the stuff that they show. So if you're still not watching you better get hold of that remote and press 2 or 7. I promise, maaliw ka din as much as naaliw ako. But like everything you still hafta be selective of what you pick to watch.
My personal favorites are Natutulog ba and Diyos?
. The former's actually a remake of a drama film (under the same title) that starred Lorna T. Watching it would make you hate Rosanna Roces to the guts and pity and admire Roxanne Guinoo so much that you would want to put her up unto a pedestal and maybe make her a saint. The love story between Jake Cuenca and Roxanne Guinoo hasn't blossomed yet so you can still catch up with what you've missed (hindi pa huli ang lahat para sumubaybay!).
The latter's an original drama/comedy script. At in all fairness super ganda sya! It's very light and fun to watch and every episode's a definite must-see. Kudos to the writers of ABS-CBN for coming up with such an original story revolving around the love for cooking. Ok din ang love triangle nila Juday, Derek Ramsey and Ryan Agoncillo. Gina Pareno's punch lines will also leave you with a lot of kabag.
If you like Papa Piolo go ahead and watch Walang Kapalit
. But warning kasi I believe mejo patapos na sya. Hands down also to Jodi Sta. Maria because I stopped watching that series because of her. I wanted to stranggle her so much because she never failed to evoke anger in me whenever. Saksakan sya ng maldita I swear! And if only may Urian and ang mga teleserye, ay wagi siya no doubt!
Don't watch Kokey
. Hindi sya okey. Hindi ko nga ba alam, sana hindi na lang sya naglanding sa dos. Watching him would bring you nightmares. Believe me. Kung gusto mo bangungutin, go ahead suit yourself. It's either sa mukha ni Kokey o sa kaarethan ni Ruffa Guttierez ka magigimbal.
As for Margarita
, yeah I liked the promotional photo they did. I also liked the costume but other than that I couldn't find anything else to like. Sorry Wendy and Bruce.
The last Teleserye I watched at GMA was Asian Treasures
. It was good at the start but all the Datu Puti, Datu Sumakwel, Datu Dumalogdog, Datu Paduhinogan and Sudama stuff was just too much (ang hirap nila bigkasin noh?). It turned out to be a flop in the end and all the traveling to Thailand, China and Mongolia couldn't quite make up for the lack-luster story. Besides it was an Indiana Jones-Lara Croft rip-off anyway.
Matanda na kayo! Bahala na kayo kung kapuso or kapamilya ang tatangkilikin nyo basta ako ang alam ko mahal ko ang dalawang Andrew! Alien?
Images and some info from Wikipedia
Labels: random thoughts
I wanna thank everyone who made comments, left messages in my tagbox and just about everybody for their support sa amin ni Dani. Don't worry. I'll keep you posted.
Oh! We watched The Simpsons
the other day. It was hella funny. Umpisa pa lang mukhang gago na si Homer. It was supposed to be PG-13 but there were a lot of kids sa sinehan at f na f nila ang pagkanta sa spider pig, spider pig does whatever a spider pig does
...lalala... Actually kung may anak ako hindi ko talaga sya papanuorin ng Simpsons til 13 na sya. Besides s/he won't get the jokes about Arnold and Bush anyway. Siguro makikitawa lang sya kasi everybody's laughing but no the kid won't get the punch line. Ano naman paki ng bata dun?
Awww but the movie was too short. An hour and a half lang. And even if that wasn't my first time to watch a movie here in the states, I still can't get over kung gano kalaki ang popcorn at drinks dito. Kuya got a large popcorn and I swear to God yun ang pinakamalaking popcorn na nakita ko sa buhay ko. Haha! Malaki pa sa bucket ng KFC at yung drinks namin was a medium pero I swear to God uli that it was even bigger than a Biggie drink from Wendys. Para siya sa malaking mama! Saka here the popcorn sa movies is butter flavored lang not unlike sa Philippines na madaming variety. Oh well but who am I to complain? Hindi naman ako ang bagbayad, nakidukot lang ako.
For those na hindi pa nakakapanuod ng The Simpsons and has been a big fan (like me) ever since they were kids... Watch it!
Para lang maaliw kayo. Oh and by the way click here
if you wanna see how you look like as a Simpson. It's pretty cool. Check it out.
Labels: random thoughts
About a Boy
For those who know me and who constantly read my blog, you know that I don't usually post stuff about my very very personal life especially pag dating na sa puso. I guess it's just me. I just don't want to broadcast to the world kung ano nangyayari sakin. Mataas ang pride ko. I do not want to look like a weakling most especially when I know that some of my closest friends read my blog ritually.
Tsk! Dani and his kadramahan. Oops sa red lips at katangusan ng ilong.
Malamang hirap na hirap na siguro ako. It literally breaks my heart when I think of Dani and worst of all I have no one to talk to. I've cried buckets of tears cause of him. I could still remember vividly in my mind the days when I was still in the Philippines, nung mga panahon na malapit na ko umalis, nung mga panahon na despedida ko, when I handed him my gift para sa birthday nya. I also handed Dani a letter before I left reminding him to always stay strong and that I will be with him though not physically. I made him a list of a 100 things that I loved about him para hindi siya masyadong malungkot and so that he'll always be reminded of how much I loved him and how much I appreciated all the stuff he did for me and how much I cherished the times when we were together. We hugged so tight and for so long to last us a couple of years, for the years that I had to be in the states, for the time we had to be apart. We cried like there was no tomorrow
. I had to leave on the 28th of March and his birthday was on April 1. It was sad as hell but we couldn't do anything about it. Even before we met alam ko nang I had to leave for the states after ko magcollege. It was just something that's inevitable. Out of the 4 of my siblings, 3 sa kanila also went thru long distance relationships so parang it was just natural for me to be in one as well.
Ironically at the beginning I was ok. America was so new to me that everything fascinated me and for a while nalimutan ko yung lungkot. At that time I even managed to convince myself that I was happy and that I was about to fulfill the so-called American Dream that my mom aspired for me. But after a few weeks time, the distance started to take its toll and I soon found myself crying to sleep. At dahil sa feeling strong ako lagi, I didn't tell anyone how sad I was, not my ate or kuya and most especially not Dani. All I know was that I missed him terribly. Namimiss ko yung lambing, yung lagi akong may kakampi, yung laging may kakulitan
. I would playback in my head things that we used to do together only to find myself wanting to be with him more and wanting more to go back home to the Philippines. I was homesick 70% of the time because of him. But I couldn't do anything kundi maghintay sa ym hoping he'd go online and to check my friendster account for messages from him or my gmail for hopes of an e-mail. The messages were plenty at the start but the numbers soon declined as time passed by. He was busy. He had problems. I made up excuses in my head to justify for his actions. And like the good girlfriend that I was, I waited diligently night and day to the point that it almost reached a month before we had a chance to talk again.
hmm, parang jacket ko yan ah!
One thing that I would always remember about Dani is when he'd get mad when I would say na mas mahal ko siya kesa sa mas mahal niya ko (kinikilig naman ako dun kaya agree naman ako. haha). For him, he just simply loved me more
. He wanted to take care of me because I was his baby. I was always happy just as long as we were together and I loved it when he would go out of his way for me. He would go to my dorm (in Malate) when he gets off from work kahit na pa he'd only be able to see me sa tapat ng dorm for 30 minutes because of the curfew. He would wait for me sa National Bookstore (at Rob Place) kahit pa lagi akong late whenever we'd meet up hanggang sa nabasa na niya ang buong series ng Pugad Baboy
sa kakaantay. But I never heard na nagreklamo siya, not once. I would always remember how he'd smile and brighten up pag nakita na niya ko kahit na pa 4 hours na siya nagaantay. One of our past time eh magbolahan kung gano kami kaswerte sa isa't isa. And boy was I lucky! Not only was he tall dark and handsome (he's 5'11''), mabait at mahal na mahal pa niya ko. I literally couldn't ask for more.
However, the distance and all the waiting had severed our connection. Sobrang hindi kame naguusap and right now, we're on the rocks, the worst that we have ever been. It sucks big time.
And sometimes nararamdaman ko na baliktad na, that I love him more than he loves me. I hate telling him things because I feel that it somehow mentally emasculates him pero minsan pakiramdam ko para na din akong sirang plaka - paulit ulit, nakakasawa at nakakarindi. Albeit, naka ear plugs siya and he just doesn't hear me out.
I want to end things. He wants to give it another try. I know that I've had enough but I love Dani, yun ang problema. Akala ko wala na kong kayang iiyak pa but after we talked sobrang namugto nanaman mata ko that it left me light headed. How we are right now is so heartbreaking most especially when I think about how happy we were nung nasa Pinas pa ko. It makes me wonder if things would be any more different if only I didn't have to leave so soon and if only I had more time to spend with him. But thinking of what-ifs is just a waste of time because we are where we are, we just have to deal with it
. I know he feels that I blame everything on him but the truth is I really don't. Alam kong nahihirapan siya and I should know better because I'm on the other end of the rope. Sobrang confused na ko about what to do that I just don't want to think anymore. All the hurt has left me numb to the core. Ipagpapasa-Diyos ko na lang. Siya na ang bahala. I trust Dani when he promised that he'll make it better this time. He just has to make it good. At kahit na sumama ang loob ko ng todo I still admire him because he was humble enough to admit his mistakes and to ask forgiveness for them. I'll leave it to him now to take care of the relationship and to take care of what's left of us...
Labels: about me, dani, love