If You Forget Me
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
This is a poem by the first man I fell in love with. Hailed "the greatest poet of the 20th century in any language," and a Nobel prize for literature awardee, the Chilean poet, Pablo Neruda. I always loved him and his works since nakilala ko siya nung highschool pa ko.
Once again despite the deepest sorrows that dwell in the depths of my heart, he has managed to touch me just like he always had and his words resound as if they were mine...
11:59:00 PM
Mana Mana
[Hearing: Far Away. *Kevyn Lettau. <3>
My mom called a while ago. She said she already sent my transcript para sa NCLEX application ko. Eto maganda jan eh, here's what she said, "Nakuha ko na transcript mo. Baka thursday at the most nanjan na yan. Ang tataas ng grades mo ha parang grado ko nung college ako! Pero I'm sure mas mataas yun kung wala kang boyfriend. "
Anooo ba inay? hahaha natawa talaga ako. I'm sure she didn't mean that in a bad way. Niloloko lang ako nun saka bati nanaman kami kaya she won't talk sarcastically to me. Sabi ko nalang, "Ha? Hindi noh! Anong kinalaman ng boyfriend pati? Saka ano ka? Puro pula kaya class card mo! Nakita ko kaya yun dati." Natawa na lang siya. Mana daw ako sa katalinuhan nya kahit sinasabi din ni daddy na sa kanya daw kami mana.
Natawa talaga ako kay mommy. Ang tagal nga namin nagusap. Namiss ko naman ang mom ko bigla. Magreview na daw ako para makapagpadala na ko ng pera sa kanya at para mabili ko na daw lahat ng gusto ko. haha si mommy talaga...
11:14:00 PM
Procrastinating[Hearing: Take This Love. *Sergio Mendes. I uber Loooove this song!]
[Whatup: I can't seem to drag myself to go and study.]
Yeah. So here I am typing away. Procrastinating yet again.
Aha! Nagcomment sa friendster ko yung best friend ko ng Grade 6! Anooooo ba?! Nabubuhay talaga mga sacre elem days! Una si Evert, c Ging, si Gretch and now si Tupe naman! Funny talaga! I'm really happy pero sad din at the same time cause I want to see them! *sigh pero matatagalan pa. Ewan ko ba sa taong yun (Tupe), nasa UPmanila lang naman all through out college, katapat lang namin sila, nag duty din naman ako sa PGH pero never talaga kami nagkita. But I'm happy all the same. ^_^
Nanuod akong Ysabella kanina. 1st EP. Natawa ako kay Rossana habang pinagsasabihan nya yung anak nya, "Anak, mangangarap ka na lang din dapat pangarapin mo nang maging CHEP!" Chep as in Chep talaga. Like how you read it. Natawa naman kami ni ate kasi serious sila sa scene na yun. haha. Pero funny talaga sya if you only got to watch it yourself matatawa ka din. Oo ang babaw ko nanaman.
10:31:00 PM
What's up?[Hearing: Is this Love. *by Pareng Bob Marley]
[Whatup: updates]
Narinig ko sa wakas ang boses ng babaeng famous for the line na "What's up?" and "Small World." haha! yup wala ng iba kundi si Nicole Maramo. Sorta just finished talking with her sa fone. La lang. Natuwa lang ako. Para kaming loka lokang nagsisigawan sa telepono. Twas nakakaaliw. Gagawin daw nya akong ninang. Yey! haha. Promise talaga pag may work na ko at may car na ko pupuntahan talaga kita sa Bakersfield. Patirahin mo ko sa house nyo. haha!
12:35:00 PM
Gusto ko ng...[Hearing: Perhaps Love. *Full House MV @youtube]
[Whatup: whilst watching eat bulaga. haha]
Gusto ko manuod ng koreanovelas. Baduy nitong TFC. Ngayon pa lang pinapalabas ang Lovers in Paris. Anyway, kinikilig pa din naman ako kay Martin. Ang cute nya! Sarap nyang mahalin! haha... Gusto ko din manuod ng Full House ule! Badtrip kasi I wasn't able to bring all my cd's coz I had to be cautious with the security check sa airport. Mahirap ng madeport. Gusto ko din manuod ng My Sassy Girl ule saka ng My Little Bride saka ng My Boyfriend is B+. I looooove Koreanovelas. Wala akong paki kung baduy sa iba basta ako gusto ko yun! Biruin mo naman ngttyaga pa ko sa Arirang dati nung hindi pa uso koreanovela sa Pinas. hahaha! Kdrama rocks. But so does Maria Flordeluna! hahaha uie patapos na! Dapat talaga hinayaan na lang nila Flor na mamatay tong si Mamita. But you know all's well ends well pa din.
Buti pa sa Pinas may DVD sa kalye!
12:14:00 PM
Friendster top 10 commandments
Which I all agree to. Good thing m not guilty of any. haha.
ONE
Stop posting multiple bulletins!!!
People would read your bulletin if they
really want to!
Or even stop saying, "READ ME", like I
said, people would read it if they
want to.
TWO:
To the people who have like 1,000
friends,
are you serious?
You dont know half the people!
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.
THREE:
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG, I'm so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn't post them.
And if u do ur a f*cking idiot.
FOUR:
Nobody cares about threats over the
internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the
keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the
special olympics;
even if you win, you're still retarded.
FIVE:
Quit crying because you're not on
someones featured friends.
Who cares?
IT'S THEIR PROFILE!!!
NOT YOURS !!!
SIX:
Who really cares if I don't accept you
as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or
message
asking
"What's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend,
that's what's up dumbass!!!
SEVEN:
6th graders who have Friendster
and look like sluts, and act like
whores
go somewhere else because nobody
wants you here.
EIGHT:
If you have decided to read this,
you are a true Friendster Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.
NINE:
I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through
people's brains.
TEN:
And if you open a bulletin and it says
something like
" Repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost
will rape your dog
tonight, or "some dead skinless girl is
gonna rape your mom "
QUIT BEING A DUMB A$S!!
3:47:00 PM
Ooooh CooLness![Hearing: Don't Let it Go To Your Head - *Black Harmony. Bagay. Pwedeeee!]
[Whatup: Nothing much Coco Crunch]
Naaliw talaga ako sa multiply. Ewan ko ba naman sa tagal tagal na may ngiinvite sakin na magjoin eh nung kay Kc lang ako napasali. Uie anlakas sakin ni Kc. haha! (Love u Kc, imissu at ang mga hiritan sa duty with Bosang, Riz n everyone else). You can even cross-post your blogs and incorporate pics! Like what I did with my flickr pics. Isn't the coolest thing? Wooooh! Naaliw talaga ako. Ang hehenyo ng gumawa nito ha in fairness. No wonder it's in the top 5 most visted sites sa buong world!
And you think friendster's top 1 right? Nope, it's just top 21. Top 1 sya sa Pinas. But here people hardly use friendster they go for MySpace.
Which is my next project. Hmmm, makagawa nga ng myspace account...
Friends add nyo ko sa Multiply! Just click the link below...yung may stars.
Oh yeah if u see the banner of my multiply account, yung tao dun, wala syang alipunga. Green lang sya and with henna. It's a hindu body art thing. Mas lalo nang wala syang gangrene.
2:19:00 PM
Bagong Kalokohan
Wala namang laman! Coming soon pag may gg cam na ko!!! Just fiddling out of chronic boredom, in the mood to tweak things.
Looove stars!
6:16:00 PM
Like It?
[Hearing: Look What You've Done. *Jet.]
[Whatup: Works done!]
Yey! Just updated my blog and friendster template. I made the latter by myself. Title's Romancing Venus Saga. Pretty noh? I think it's good for a first time and it's so me nanaman like my blog. ^_^ Pwede kayo magrequest na gawan ko kayo, I'll try my best...
Oh yeah I had to increase the number of posts per page of my blog cause if you notice the darn template has no archives.
2:25:00 PM
Yun Na![Hearing: Humanap Ka ng Panget. *Andrew E.]
[Whatup: Laughing my head off. Literally. Oh yeah, m also about to update my blog template and maybe change the url.]
Yun yun eh!
Wee hours in the morning na and I was about to doze off. But before that I decided to check a err...friend's profile at...Eat Bulaga! Bagong pic! Wow sabaw! Talagang nabulaga ako and I even managed to say "Bakla ba yun?" aloud though I was by myself. Baknush! I dedicate the song Cherry Lips by Garbage to you!!! Frankly, it fits you well. Androgyny! Pero girl ang name nya eh. Ba't ganun noh? I'm not being sarcastic here pero pasalamat na lang talaga ako kay God dahil hindi ako mukhang lalake/bakla. Hindi ako mapamintas pati dahil kung kilala nyo yung sinsabi ko, naku, gulpi di gulat sa ligo ng lait ang aabutin nun. Lalo na kung si mama Joy kaharap ko. haha . Clue: current girl (daw) to ng someone na akala nina Coel at Che eh guard at na wow mali lang nung biglang nagsalita at nagenglish! Blind item ito! hahaha! Kung close tayo malamang alam mo na kung sino. Ops! Wag ng hulaan pa! Iwas gulo drama natin. Di ko alam kung dapat ako mainsulto eh. Basta, mapapaehersisyo ako lalo nito sa ligalig for sure!
Wahaha! Tawa na lang ako. Print ko kaya, panakot sa daga. I was grossed out but still, tops! It definitely made my day. Now I'm ready to sleep. Laughing.
12:25:00 AM
JPR Day[Hearing: Broken Man. *Boys Like Girls]
[Whatup: Steady. Gloomy weather today that's why I got up late.]
Before I left for that states I made a vow with myself na I would never change for the worse. That I would stay the same. Na hindi lalaki ang ulo ko, na hindi ako magiging tulad ng iba who act as if they're larger than life. That I would still abhor social climbers to the core. That I would still loathe politicians the most and would remain to love the things that I love before I left for the states like Rob Place Ermita, 168/Divi Mall/Tutubs, OPM, Tong-its, Chicken balls, fiestas, kalesas, champorado with tuyo, and milo. That I would allow change only if it's for the better whilst allowing my roots to remain intact. That I would never forget kung saan ako nanggaling at hindi ako matuturingang malansang isda. That I would be proud of my achievements (not of others) but be down-to-earth as much as I can.
That I would be ME no matter what and remain to be Filipino sans colonial mentality and sans idolism for the foreign.
Happy Birthday to the greatest hero in the history of our nation, José Protacio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda. This one's for you.
12:57:00 PM
Snooper DuperHearing: Cherry Lips (Garbage)... Go baby go go!!!~ haha
Where@: 100 Hawthorn Dr. pa din
Whatup: reading thru other people's blogs
I read thru one person's blog. Kilala ko sya sa kwento, pero di nya ko kilala. Hindi ko sya crush, babae sya. Anyway, nabasa ko na break na nga sila ng guy nya and she was pouring it all out sa blog nya, how she's in so much pain and shit. To think that she's broadcasting her blog url sa friendster nya na I'm sure eh alam ng guy nya at I'm sure binabasa din ng guy nya. Tas magdadrama sya dun ng todo. I just don't get it. Why in god's name would you want your ex to know that your life's miserable? Ang pathetic eh. I mean, sige you talk and you tell him you want him back but come one... Do you really hafta be detailed about it in your blog? Mas lalo kang hindi babalikan nun if you act as if it's the end of the world when you separated. Your world doesn't stop there. Certainly he wasn't your world to start of with.
1:49:00 PM
HafiverdeiHearing: Dimelo (Enrique Iglesias), paki nyo ba gusto ko si Enrique kahit na mukha syang bading. Sabi ni ate crush daw nya to dati kasi parang napaka passionate kumanta. True that.
Where@: dining, kakauwi lang...
Whatup: Hafiverdei Kuya!!!
Birthday ni kuya ngayon. 31 na sya. Akalain mo yun? Kailangan na talaga nya mag go forth and multiply as commanded ni Lord. I bought him a shirt kahit na wala na kong pera, just to be thoughtful and sweet. Minsan lang naman magbirthday ang isang tao diba? Saka I'm quite grateful kay kuya for a number of things din pati lalo na't sya ang nag send ng affidavit for me. Soooo, Happy beerday kuya! Eat out daw kami later with his friends and co-workers. Yey!
*Sigh ang hirap ng when you're going out and you want to buy something pero hindi mo magawa kasi wala ka ng pera. I really wanted to buy a pair of Kenneth Cole shoes kanina na parang peachy goldish yung color. Ang pretty kasi and it was on clearance $30 na lang, originally $75 sya. But even if mura na lang sya hindi ko naman mabili. Hafta be smart and frugal at this point. I hafta pay pa sa NCLEX testing fee, $200 din yun, galing pa sa sariling bulsa. Don't fret. Di bale pag RN na ko, woooooh! Shopping spree to the max na! haha...
I started studying na din kagabi. Excellent progress na din kasi I studied for 4 1/2 hours and was able to finish 3 chapters. I'm reading the Comprehensive NCLEX review book by Saunders... hmm, ok naman sya. Hindi naman sya full of gibberish like some books and madali naman syang maarok. Naks. haha...
Ang goal ko talaga is to be able to say to myself na I did everything in my power to study before ng exam para confident talaga at hopefully one take lang.
Kinakabahan talaga ako...
Commercial: Yung Starfleet nasa XXX (malapit kina Dani yun!)!!! hahaha! Phuket massage at Wet Thai Massage ang bida! Instead na hands at feet ang ginagamit sa pagmasahe, boobs at dila. Whooooh! Biruin mo yun! How creative nga naman...
4:47:00 PM
Nightmares + Kiss and Make UpHearing: Oh It's Love (Hellogoodbye)
Where@: same old banana...
Whatup: ugggh sakit likod ko!
Biruin mong kahit sa pagtulog ko nanaginip na ko ng mga libro... I woke up at 5am kanina cause I dreamt that I was asked to read a Pharmacology book. Buti nga nagising ako. Studying... Ick. The NCLEX is haunting me even in slumber.
By the way, we picked up ate Charry last saturday over at SFO airport. Pagdating namin nakasimangot na si ate Charry kanina pa daw sya. Sabi ko kay kuya, "Hala ka!" haha... and hindi sya pinansin during the 1 hour drive... ayun... The good of it though is the apartment is spotless thanks to ate Charry's knack in organizing as well as her pagiging ok-ok. Hindi na rin ako lagi ang taga linis at taga luto! mwahahaha!~
Another thing is bati na kami ni mommy!!! Whooooooh! I'm sooooo happy! Naguusap na uli kami and nagkkwento na uli sya about sa mga admirer nya! haha (si mommy talaga)...Mga senior citizen boylets ng nanay ko nagseselosan ba naman! haha... Sabi nya pati mag-aral na daw ako ng makapagtrabaho na daw!!! Kayod kalabaw baby!
Dinner later at Vacaville with relatives! Will see cute Gabe again. Yey! Makakalabas din akong bahay! Ecstatic.
11:22:00 AM
Neurotic wise ass out to flood the world with opinionated and not-so-opiniated wit and charm. Nationalistic to the core. Wannabe writer extraordinaire. Daydreamer and royal blooded smart aleck. This is me. This is sugar and spice personified.
